Emotional Intelligence is the future of leadership. It’s been gaining recognition as a key leadership skill over the last few years and as we emerge into the new world post covid, where our work lives have dramatically changed, these skills are sought after and essential.
Society is changing at an alarming rate and those able to adapt and lead intuitively are going to be most successful.
Add in the new workforce of Generation Z, who are spending more time and money on personal development than any other generation, it’s essential that as leaders we grow and adapt.
As a coach with training in neuro linguistic programming, I know how powerful our minds are, how important mindset is and how it is possible to allow our emotions to exist and acknowledge them without letting them lead or take over.
It is a scientific fact that emotions precede thought. When our emotions run high they impact on our brain function. Potentially clouding or colouring our judgment. Think back now, has there been an occasion recently where your emotions ran high and where they impacted on your thinking, possibly even on your action, reaction or inaction? Have you noticed this in others?
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
It is about understanding and using emotions positively and purposefully to improve our effectiveness
Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Life
We rarely know what type of leader we will be until we are in that role. It may start with outsourcing work, taking on a management role or being promoted as the leader of a large business. It could be in a community role, entrepreneurial, a thought leader or ‘guru’. Sometimes leadership is thrust upon us, it was not something we set out to be or do.
Working on ourselves is essential if we are going to lead or work effectively with others.
Emotional intelligence was developed as a theory in the late 1980s and there are 5 key components:
- Self-awareness.
- Self-regulation.
- Motivation.
- Empathy.
- Social skills.
The more that you, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence will be.
So let’s have a look at them.
Self Awareness is being aware of different aspects of ourselves including traits, behaviours, and feelings. It means we always know how we feel, and we know how our emotions and our actions can affect the people around us.
In a leadership role (in business or life), this also means having a clear picture of our strengths and weaknesses and behaving with humility.
Self-regulation is the ability to regulate our emotions and feelings to ensure they do not drive our decision making, interactions or management of people. We can be self aware enough to know how we are feeling and why, and not let it get in the way.
As a leader, it means we can stay in control. We know our values, so we can make quick decisions. We can hold ourselves accountable and can keep calm in challenging situations.
Motivation means we understand how our emotions impact on our outcomes. We know how to use our emotions to take the action that is needed or to solve the problems that we are facing. It is having the strength to keep going when there are obstacles. It is setting goals and following through with them.
As a leader, this will mean having an interest in learning and self-improvement.
Empathy often gets confused with sympathy but it’s very different. It is the ability to appreciate what the other person is feeling, to appreciate their emotions and put our self in the other person’s shoes.
Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else’s situation. They help develop the people around them, they challenge others who are acting unsuitably, give constructive feedback, and listen to those who need it.
Social Skills refer to the skills needed to handle and influence other people’s emotions effectively. Having an awareness of the presence of others emotions and being able to confidently and effectively navigate these to support our team to perform.
As a leader these skills are particularly important when we need to:
- Give feedback to others
- Receive feedback, especially if this feedback is in relation to potential errors or mistakes
- Implement and manage changes
- Work in stressful conditions, such as tight deadlines or without the people or resources we really need
So, in summary
Once you can understand and manage yourself, then appreciate the emotions and feelings of others (empathy) finally you will be able to influence them successfully (social skills).
A high level of emotional intelligence means you communicate constructively, you resolve conflict or disputes calmly, you listen to and praise others effectively.
You may read this and feel you have these skills, or you may have strengths in some areas rather than others.
Developing the skills might be something you need to work on, and that’s where I can help. Use the book a call button on the main menu bar to make an appointment to chat or have a look at my programmes to see all that’s available to you.